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Casual World

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[Story] Stryka

4 posters

Present Tense or Past Tense

[Story] Stryka Vote_lcap29%[Story] Stryka Vote_rcap 29% [ 2 ]
[Story] Stryka Vote_lcap43%[Story] Stryka Vote_rcap 43% [ 3 ]
[Story] Stryka Vote_lcap28%[Story] Stryka Vote_rcap 28% [ 2 ]
Total Votes : 7

Poll closed

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1[Story] Stryka Empty [Story] Stryka Sat Mar 14, 2009 6:05 pm

SlateFx

SlateFx

Stryka.


Introduction
I was born on 21st of July 2086 in StarBorn hospital. It was a quiet night, until 12.00, my time of birth. The second I was born, America launched a nuke at UK and judgment day happened. My whole life Ive been running, away from the soldiers, the wars still going, and we've got to live with it. The world destroyed itself, but there are survivors, we have a strength.
The wars died down, our population has increased, we have 3 billion, they have 2 billion. We are winning, but that will all change....


Chapter 1: My Starlight Miracle.

Pain. I was being carried. The last thing I remembered was them. They shot me. I was hurt. I needed help. Blood was pouring out, I was losing it, I was dying....
I found myself in a bed. I was in a abandoned hospital. I was still injured, it was not as bad but it was still fatal, what was keeping me alive? Was it a dream? No, it was too real, where was I? My questions were interrupted by the knocking at the door. I tried to get up, I couldn't. The door creaked open, light poured in. Black.
I found myself in a different bed, this time I could get up. I knew this type of house, a 5 story, old fashioned mansion, how did I get there? I paced up and down the room. I looked out of the window, I was in the middle of the forest. Then I remembered, My head stung. my chest hurt, and I was shaking. What had happened?. I looked down at my chest and there was no mark or scar. How was this possible?
I remember I was in a forest when a soldier walked to me and shot me in the chest, I remembered the pain. It was horrible. Then there was a intense light, my partner, David Deznar came to me and carried me and then I blacked out. My thoughts was stopped by a noise of wood snapping and breaking. The roof was coming down.
I bolted to the window and tried to open it, it was locked and I didn't have much time to waste. I used all my force to smash the window open, cutting the skin of my wrist in the process. It was a 4 story drop and I knew I couldn't make it, I but it would probably better then being crushed. I jumped.
Air rushed past me as I pummeled down to the ground. I knew I was going to die. A calculated it would take about: 3..I tensed 2...I shut my eyes 1... No pain, what? I opened my eyes and to my absolute amazement, I was floating!


Chapter 2: My Unusual Encounter
I was floating a centimeter above ground and I heard the house coming down behind me. It was a lucky escapes but how have I managed to float? I lost concentration and fell the centimeter. I got up and, shaken up, wondered how I possibly could do it. The intelligence agencies have made stuff that can float by itself, but not a human. This wasn't technology, this was magic!
I ran through the jungle, looking for food and drink, wondering if there was anywhere I could shelter. The night was coming fast. The soldiers came at night.
I spent the next couple of hours darting through thick grass searching for shelter and I nearly got lost in numeral occasions. However, I have a perfect sense of direction, I learned it as I needed it to navigate through the harsh and treacherous lands my team go to, and never forgot where I was. I was in the jungle of the PyroHails, deadly creatures that was rumored to exist 2500 years ago and kill anything in its sight. It was a huge jungle and I feared I would't find my way out.
It was 8pm and night was coming fast. If I didn't find a place to hide in an hour, id be dead before midnight.
A sudden burst of light blinded me as I fell to the ground in pain. Something came towards me. It's inhumanly shape slowly walked to me. The lights went out. I saw it.
I staggered back and tried to run but it had control over me. This wasn't possible. It couldn't be. They hadn't visited in a thousand years. It was an alien.

Chapter 3: Tarelaxsky
"We no wish hurt you" The alien said. He was about 7 foot and had pale white skin wearing a black leather coat and black trousers, he had an ovaly shaped head that looked like a skull, only a bit different from the ones on movies and pictures. I cried out in fear. Why did he visit me, What was he doing on earth, what was his name? So many questions, but none of them could come out. "What?" I managed to sputter out. "What is your name?" I asked
"Tarelaxsky", It said. I didn't know what to say. I was shocked and shaking. Was it responsible for saving my life, and the falling house. I needed to get a better picture of what was happening.
"We come, need help" Tarelaxsky said in poor English. I straightened up and spoke.
"What do you need help with, will you hurt me?" I asked nervously
"No, me friend, me save you from dieing, we help defeating bad people, they help destroy, we help save" The alien stated. So he kept me alive. I didn't really get it, but it sounded important. I needed to know more.
"What will they destroy, and what was the falling house about? I asked
"They succeed, they destroy earth. Falling house test of agility, courage, and kinetic manipulation." Tarelaxsky said. I was dumbfounded.
"Kinetic manipulation?" I said with total confusion.
"Ability to control, move and create things using mind over matter techniques." He announced. That sounded cool.
"Woh, like mag-" My words were interrupted as a creature jumped out of the trees. A PyroHail!
The PyroHail jumped towards Tarelaxsky and he jumped back and shot the PyroHail into a nearby tree with a flick of a hand. I got a pistol out and shot at it but it was too quick, it jumped on me and Tarelaxsky created a fireball on his had and threw it at the PyroHail, it sprung off of me and ran around screeching. A layer of its skin burned off easily, but it grew it back, the fire did seem to have a strength against the PyroHail though. It ran at me and I turned around and sprinted. Something was wrong, Tarelaxsky wasn't there, where had he gone? Suddenly, I was knocked forwards as the PyroHail pounced on me. It started clawing at me and I knew I didn't have much chance. It claws dug into me and I screamed in agony, blood poured out of a cut on my chest. My vision went red, I was losing it. Something became hot inside me. Heat poured round my body. Flames engulfed my body, I was on fire

Chapter 4: PKM
Flames shot out into the cold night as I screamed in terror. The PyroHail leaped off of me and ran around shrieking. It finally came to a stop and fell, it stopped moving and I realized, I killed a PyroHail. I lost concentration on the flame and it died down into a couple of little sparks. I got up, most of my clothes were burned and only a few rags were left, and looked for Tarelaxsky. A sudden tap on the shoulder made me jump and I turned round, only to find the alien smiling and looking smug. “You sent that on me on purpose, didn't you?” I shouted.
“How did you know” Said Tarelaxsky looking a bit shocked. I suddenly took a step back and reached for my knife.



Last edited by SlateFx on Fri Aug 07, 2009 7:34 am; edited 9 times in total

2[Story] Stryka Empty Re: [Story] Stryka Sat Mar 14, 2009 6:36 pm

Zerzavy

Zerzavy
Moderator
Moderator

SlateFx wrote:Stryka.


Introduction
I was born on 21st of July 2086 in StarBorn hospital. It was a quiet night, until 12.00, my time of birth. The second I was born, America launched a nuke at UK and judgment day happened. My whole life Ive been running, away from the soldiers, the wars still going, and we've got to live with it. The world destroyed itself, but there are survivors, we have a strength.
The wars died down, our population has increased, we have 3 billion, they have 2 billion. We are winning, but that will all change....


Chapter 1: My Starlight Miracle.

Pain. I was being carried. The last thing I remembered was them. They shot me. I was hurt. I needed help. Blood was pouring out, I was losing it, I was dying....
I found myself in a bed. I was in a abandoned hospital. I was still injured, it was not as bad but it was still fatal, what was keeping me alive? Was it a dream? No, it was too real, where was I? My questions were interrupted by the knocking at the door. I tried to get up, I couldn't. The door creaked open, light poured in. Black.
I found myself in a different bed, this time I could get up. I knew this type of house, a 5 story, old fashioned mansion, how did I get there? I paced up and down the room. I looked out of the window, I was in the middle of the forest. Then I remembered, My head stung. my chest hurt, and I was shaking. What had happened?. I looked down at my chest and there was no mark or scar. How was this possible?
I remember I was in a forest when a soldier walked to me and shot me in the chest, I remembered the pain. It was horrible. Then there was a intense light, my partner, David Deznar came to me and carried me and then I blacked out. My thoughts was stopped by a noise of wood snapping and breaking. The roof was coming down.
I bolted to the window and tried to open it, it was locked and I didn't have much time to waste. I used all my force to smash the window open, cutting the skin of my wrist in the process. It was a 4 story drop and I knew I couldn't make it, I but it would probably better then being crushed. I jumped.
Air rushed past me as I pummeled down to the ground. I knew I was going to die. A calculated it would take about: 3..I tensed 2...I shut my eyes 1... No pain, what? I opened my opened my and to my absolute amazement, I was floating!


Chapter 2: My Unusual Encounter
I was floating a centimeter above ground and I heard the house coming down behind me. It was a lucky escapes but how have I managed to float? I lost concentration and fell the centimeter. I got up and, shaken up, wondered how I possibly could do it. The intelligence agencies have made stuff that can float by itself, but not a human. This wasn't technology, this was magic!
I ran through the jungle, looking for food and drink, wondering if there was anywhere I could shelter. The night was coming fast. The soldiers came at night.
I spent the next couple of hours darting through thick grass searching for shelter and I nearly got lost in numeral occasions. However, I have a perfect sense of direction, I learned it as I needed it to navigate through the harsh and trechious lands my team go to, and never forgot where I was. I was in the jungle of the pyrohales, deadly creatures that was rumoured to exist 2500 years ago and kill anything in its sight. It was a huge jungle and I feared I would't find my way out.
It was 8pm and night was coming fast. If I didn't find a place to hide in an hour, i'd be dead before midnight.
A sudden burst of light blinded me as I fell to the ground in pain. Something came towards me. It's inhumanly shape slowly walked to me. The lights went out. I saw it.
I staggered back and tried to run but it had control over me. This wasn't possible. It couldn't be. They hadn't visited in a thousand years. It was an alien.
dun dun dunnnnnnnn

3[Story] Stryka Empty Re: [Story] Stryka Sat Mar 14, 2009 8:07 pm

SlateFx

SlateFx

Ive put chapter 3 in. Shall I have it past tense or present tense??????

4[Story] Stryka Empty Re: [Story] Stryka Sat Mar 14, 2009 9:32 pm

Zerzavy

Zerzavy
Moderator
Moderator

hard decision...make a poll about it! cheers

5[Story] Stryka Empty Re: [Story] Stryka Sun Mar 15, 2009 12:11 pm

mariosuperlative

mariosuperlative
Admin
Admin

There's something nice about your past tense, I've played it through my head in present tense and it doesn't seem very good, so I'd stick with past if I were you. Good question, I do it in present because it gives it an aura that I can't get with past tense.

6[Story] Stryka Empty Re: [Story] Stryka Mon Mar 23, 2009 11:52 am

Squidward568

Squidward568

WOW!!! That is a brill story, you should get it published one day! That has good punctuation, good adjectives. It will be probably in the top 100 storys if it is published by the time it gets to the 50th chapter!!!(I think) Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy YAY!!!!!! study Skate Board TECH DECK

This is brill and i mean it!!!!!



Last edited by Squidward568 on Mon Mar 23, 2009 12:10 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : Added stuff)

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